50 Signs You’re Doing Australia Day Right

January 19, 2016 - 3 min read

Australia Day is about getting together with friends and family and celebrating everything it means to be Australian. While everyone has their own plans for Australia Day, if yours doesn’t involve anything from the list below, you’re not doing it right!

1. Start your day with a Vegemite smile

2. Wear your good pair of thongs

3. Put on your patriotic budgie smugglers/bikini

4. Cover yourself head-to-toe in patriotic temporary tattoos

5. Take your flag off the wall and tie it around your neck

6. Make sure your Southern Cross tattoo is exposed and shown in public with pride

7. Shave your facial hair into a Mitchell Johnson-style goatee for the occasion

8. Strategically cover your face in zinc—again to look like Mitchell Johnson

9. The only time you should be anti-social is to watch the cricket

10. Keep looking for a car park at the beach, even if it takes 2 hours

11. Dive for a catch when playing beach cricket, even if it means getting sand in your mouth

12. Always argue the umpires decision when given out

13. Feed a local seagull your leftovers

14. Never walk on the sand in your thongs, even if it means burning your feet

15. Have the Triple J Hottest 100 switched on the entire day

16. Dance to your favourite song like Peter Garrett when it appears in the Hottest 100

17. Argue with your mates over who will finish number 1 in the countdown

18. Make a Cold Chisel, Men At Work, Midnight Oil & AC/DC mixtape ready for the moment the Hottest 100 finishes up

19. Lose your voice belting out “Land Down Under”

20. Always go hard on the slip-and-slide

21. Have an argument with your mate about who is control of the barbie

22. Even if you lose that argument, you still need to nag on about how many times to flip the lamb chops

23. Never wait for your snag to cool down, even if it means burning your tongue

24. Always eat lamb chops, even if you’re full from your snags

25. If someone mentions the phrase “chuck another shrimp on the barbie”, give them a spray

26. Make sure you always put too much tomato sauce on your bread to ensure you get some stains on your shirt

27. “What’s for dinner?” “The leftovers mate!”

28. Wear your sunnies all day so you have a ripping tan line

29. Have an arvo nap on a giant inflatable thong

30. Don’t drive anywhere without burning yourself on the seatbelt buckle first

31. Ensure there’s more eskies present than there are people

32. Save water by filling up the kiddies pool with more people

33. Make sure your ute has an Australian flag hanging from the window

34. Never pass a servo without picking up a meat pie & 3 bags of ice

35. Ensure your dog is kept cool by feeding them Zooper Doopers

36. If there are flies around, chuck on your cork hat

37. If you’ve got a mate that’s working Australia Day, call them and give them a spray for not getting it off

38. Always bring multiple pairs of thongs in case you suffer a few blowouts

39. No hat? You can always use a watermelon as sun protection

40. Always gloat to your mates about how many Weet-Bix you can consume

Courtesy YouTube/theAlchemistsAU79

41. Make sure you have at least one of the following names present at your Australia Day celebration: Shazza, Dazza, Bazza or Gazza

42. Never take your thongs off all day to avoid any bindii-related injuries

43. Tell everyone to bring lamingtons for dessert

44. If you’re full from eating too many lamingtons, you must still try to fit in some pavlova

45. Always have at least 4 Tim Tams with your cuppa tea

46. Allocate a portion of your day to watching The Castle

Courtesy of YouTube/Leigh Gilleyes

47. Always start your sentences with “Yeah, nah”

48. Reapply sunscreen every 30 minutes or risk turning into a tomato

49. Always argue passionately about whether the tomato sauce should be kept in the pantry or in the fridge

50. If you haven’t got the next day off work, call your boss and chuck a sickie!

Is there anything we’ve missed? It would be un-Australian not to let us know!